Report for Greg Brown
Approved stories2
SummaryPerfectly Exquisite

There is a time of life when everyone writes down the names of all the girls in the year and then award points for their key features. Attributes such as "breasts", "arse" and "face" were all judged and graded. We also had a category for whether she was a slag or not - higher points obviously awarded for slags. We kept our top trump chart fairly quiet, but by the time it had been handed down to my brother's year, they actually drew individual cards for each girl, had them laminated and would then sit and play "Girl Top Trumps" in the middle of the class each lunchtime.

Stuart used to buy a large portion of chips. We would only get one if we used to clap like seals. If we did, Stuart would throw us a single chip and shout "Stuart Rations!". This blatant power fantasy seemed perfectly natural.