| Report for Eight Ace | |
|---|---|
| Approved stories | 2 |
| Pending stories | 1 |
| Rejected stories | 3 |
| Summary | Shows promise |
This was a game played in the changing rooms, after the class had spent an hour and a half running around in freezing mud. Proceedings would commence by flinging a wet muddy sock into the air. If the sock landed on someone, there would follow a cry of, "Uuurgh! You got sock, mi lad!", and the game would continue.
There were only two possible end scenarios to this game. Either somebody would get beaten up, or a fight would break out. In either instance, acts of violence will be largely ignored by the games teacher, in a "let them sort it out amongst themselves" kind of way, faintly reminiscent of the interracial basketball match scene in the film Scum.
There were only two possible end scenarios to this game. Either somebody would get beaten up, or a fight would break out. In either instance, acts of violence will be largely ignored by the games teacher, in a "let them sort it out amongst themselves" kind of way, faintly reminiscent of the interracial basketball match scene in the film Scum.
Ricky's simple yet devastating respone when asked to sit down by Herr McQueen at the start of double German. Taking things beyond this, when instructed to go to the Head of Years office for his insolence,
he giggled, and muttered "Fucking boring lesson anyway!" before walking out of the classroom, only to return to the window 2 minutes later making "wanker" hand gestures in the teacher's direction
he giggled, and muttered "Fucking boring lesson anyway!" before walking out of the classroom, only to return to the window 2 minutes later making "wanker" hand gestures in the teacher's direction
An early work from self-styled Tim-Rice-of-the-playground Colin Clifford, about his good friend Colin Black:
Colin Black, Colin Black, Went to Vietnam and back, with a knick knack paddywhack and napalm up his bum, came home mad and killed his mum.
Colin Black didn't go to Vietnam, and remains innocent of matricide.
Colin Black, Colin Black, Went to Vietnam and back, with a knick knack paddywhack and napalm up his bum, came home mad and killed his mum.
Colin Black didn't go to Vietnam, and remains innocent of matricide.
I like this, a bit. Can you do anything with it?
Squeal excitedly "Ooooh. Look at Colin's hairy willy!"
Martin did this in the communal showers after the very first games lesson. This remark had 2 consequences, one short term, one very long term.
Short Term Consequence.
A high speed mass evacuation of the showers by 80-100 boys, who proceeded to get changed in record time.
Long Term Consequences
Martin was then subjected to for the remainder of his school years
an almost constant stream of ridicule, abuse and acts of violence for the homosexualist nature of that chance remark. Even as I speak, I don't suppose life is a walk in the clouds for him....,
This never made the "BBC Sports Personality of the Year Sporting Mis-haps" montage. A crying shame really.
The preliminary heats for the school sports day discus competition. An expectant crowd of boys gathers around Darren as he attempts to break the third year record. In an instant, Sudeep is liyng unconscious on the sports field, his face a mess of blood and broken prescription glasses having been hit flush and violently in the faceby the discus Darren had just thrown
Darren's protestations of innocence and the claims that "It was an accident sir"! were somewhat allayed by
1. The gales of laughter from the gathered crowd of contestants (and I am sure, one member of staff!)
2. Darrens ever so slighly right-of-centre views on immigration and ethnic diversity.
The preliminary heats for the school sports day discus competition. An expectant crowd of boys gathers around Darren as he attempts to break the third year record. In an instant, Sudeep is liyng unconscious on the sports field, his face a mess of blood and broken prescription glasses having been hit flush and violently in the faceby the discus Darren had just thrown
Darren's protestations of innocence and the claims that "It was an accident sir"! were somewhat allayed by
1. The gales of laughter from the gathered crowd of contestants (and I am sure, one member of staff!)
2. Darrens ever so slighly right-of-centre views on immigration and ethnic diversity.
Followed by the memorable couplet
"I come here to scratch my balls, and read the writing on the walls."
See also
"All these poems, all this wit - Did Shakespeare come here for a shit?"
"I come here to scratch my balls, and read the writing on the walls."
See also
"All these poems, all this wit - Did Shakespeare come here for a shit?"