dogshit dope
Apparently some lads in the year above would collect dogshit (or sometimes rabbit droppings), bake it with mint and try and pass it off as a block of cannabis, and thus sell it to gullable pezzas. Quite clearly a lie, due to the fact that dogshit smells no matter how much you try to mask it, and that only the dirtiest jip would consider picking the stuff up.
written by an*nymou* us*r, approved by Log

Another tale of schoolboy drug peddling. It's a jungle out there, kids.

Adair once sold an oxo cube to Bewey, claiming that it was finest uncut Columbian Red Gold Leb Squidgy Seal or something along those lines.
When Bewey realised he'd been conned, he demanded his 40 quid back; otherwise, he said, he would tell the head of year.
The laughter didn't stop until long after he had realised his schoolboy error and stomped off with moths fluttering out of his empty pockets.
written by Go*ty G*tt*, approved by Matt

My mate Dave has no sense of smell. This was demonstrated when he turned up to school with a baggie full of 'cannabis oil', which was actually some delicious mint sauce.
written by Ch*rlie *ebb, approved by Mansh

Living in the sticks, one has an abundance of vegetables. The darkest, outer leaves off a cabbage, when allowed to dry out long enough in the airing cupboard, then chopped up, are very easy to sell as Monkey-Dance Ganja.

Monkey Dance got its name after the noises and actions that young Chappers made, when he found out he'd spent £20 on inhaling some coleslaw.
written by Co*ki* , approved by Log

My friend Jon and I once sold plaster of Paris to the new 2nd years, pretending it was cocaine. We used the catch-all "everyone does it all the time - I can't believe you've never tried it" to shame them into paying us 50p a bag.
We made enough for 20 ciggies each from our sales, while our clients walked unconvincingly into walls, saying, "man, I'm really out of it" and occasionally snotting out little hard balls of greenish plaster. The cunts.
written by st*ad* tig*r, approved by Ponky

Pushed for time? A perfectly believable 'joint' to sell on can be created using tabacco, and your and your friends' pubes and bum hairs.
It makes a satisfying crackling noise when smoked.
written by Jo*nny*Ran*om, approved by Mansh