Glory, Glory, Halilujah
Tales of terrible retribution, sung to the tune of "Glory, Glory, Halilujah"
Glory, Glory, Halilujah
Teacher hit me with the ruler,
Met 'im at the door, with a smoking '44
And 'e ain't my teacher no more!
or
Glory, Glory, Halilujah
Teacher hit me with the ruler,
Met 'im at the bank,
With a Sherman army tank,
And 'e ain't my teacher no more!
Slightly dated since children learned they could get their teachers sacked for as much as winking at them, and since parents learned to sue.
[log]Trying to think of new rhymes is more bother than it's worth. You won't win kudos for singing "I met him at the grocers, and festooned him with C4 explosives", and even less for something as fey as "Met him on a misty hill, stabbed him with a poison-tipped quill". Stick with the tanks and guns.[/log]
Glory, Glory, Halilujah
Teacher hit me with the ruler,
Met 'im at the door, with a smoking '44
And 'e ain't my teacher no more!
or
Glory, Glory, Halilujah
Teacher hit me with the ruler,
Met 'im at the bank,
With a Sherman army tank,
And 'e ain't my teacher no more!
Slightly dated since children learned they could get their teachers sacked for as much as winking at them, and since parents learned to sue.
[log]Trying to think of new rhymes is more bother than it's worth. You won't win kudos for singing "I met him at the grocers, and festooned him with C4 explosives", and even less for something as fey as "Met him on a misty hill, stabbed him with a poison-tipped quill". Stick with the tanks and guns.[/log]
written by Cu*len M*Gough, approved by Log
Glory, glory hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler
So I punched her in the belly
And she wobbled like a jelly
And she hopped like a kangaroo.
This is a good example of children losing focus at the end and just saying anything for the fucking sake of it.
Teacher hit me with a ruler
So I punched her in the belly
And she wobbled like a jelly
And she hopped like a kangaroo.
This is a good example of children losing focus at the end and just saying anything for the fucking sake of it.
written by excluded pupil, approved by Log
Glory glory hallelujah
The teacher hit me with a ruler
The ruler broke in half
And the whole class gave a laugh
But they ain't gonna laught no more
The teacher hit me with a ruler
The ruler broke in half
And the whole class gave a laugh
But they ain't gonna laught no more
written by Cr*ig *udson, disapproved by Susan
The version at our school went:
Glory Glory hallilujah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
The ruler snapped in half
So she kicked me up the arse
And there's no more school for me
Glory Glory hallilujah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
The ruler snapped in half
So she kicked me up the arse
And there's no more school for me
written by an*nymou* u*er, disapproved by Mansh
teacher hit me with a ruler,
bopped her on the bean
with a rotten tangerine
and she hasn't been heard from since.
bopped her on the bean
with a rotten tangerine
and she hasn't been heard from since.
written by gl*nn t*oma*, deleted by Log
Another version of that went around our primary school:
'Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die
With a bullet in your backside and an arrow in your eye'
'Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die
With a bullet in your backside and an arrow in your eye'
written by Lu*y Rey*old*, deleted by Phil
Slightly more up to date version:
"Glory Glory Halilujah
Tacher hit me with a ruler
Headmaster hit me with a walking stick
Now they ain't gonna work no more"
"Glory Glory Halilujah
Tacher hit me with a ruler
Headmaster hit me with a walking stick
Now they ain't gonna work no more"
written by Me* Mc*inn, deleted by Phil
Glory, Glory Halilujah
Teacher hit me with a ruler
The ruler broke in half and we all began to laugh
And the teacher had a fit
Teacher hit me with a ruler
The ruler broke in half and we all began to laugh
And the teacher had a fit
written by an*nymou* use*, deleted by Phil
When I was a nipper it used to be:
Glory, glory, hallelujah,
The teacher hit me with a ruler,
The ruler snapped
So he kicked me up the arse,
And my arse went black and blue.
Notice the lack of righteous retribution on the part of the attacked child. I suppose we must have been a particularly weak and compliant crowd of infants.
Glory, glory, hallelujah,
The teacher hit me with a ruler,
The ruler snapped
So he kicked me up the arse,
And my arse went black and blue.
Notice the lack of righteous retribution on the part of the attacked child. I suppose we must have been a particularly weak and compliant crowd of infants.
written by Ge*tle*an*Fatna*ks, deleted by Jamie
I was asked to give an example of assonance once in an English lesson. I thought I'd test how cool our teacher was by citing our own version of this:
The ruler broke in half
So she kicked me up the arse…
He just wrote it on the board along with all the more tame offerings. Either he was cool or he was just forced to accept that I'd used satire to undermine and ridicule his preferred methods of punishment.
The ruler broke in half
So she kicked me up the arse…
He just wrote it on the board along with all the more tame offerings. Either he was cool or he was just forced to accept that I'd used satire to undermine and ridicule his preferred methods of punishment.
written by Mi*e Sol, deleted by Rosy