king of the table
The title bestowed to the first person back to their table after lunch break. There was no crown, and the King of the Tables had no special powers apart from being allowed to sharpen the communal crayons on the teacher’s special windy-handled desk mounted sharpener.
Wayne Hales would generally win, not through athleticism, but through brute force. He would swing and maul his way to the title, then set about daintily sharpening crayons for us for the rest of the lesson.
written by excluded pupil, approved by Log