Great Universal
The arrival of the spring/summer edition of this, or any other home shopping catalogue, was met with eager, sweaty palmed enthusiasm. Ladies underwear was always located towards the end of ladies outerwear, and just before menswear. Usually about 1/3 of the way through. Imagine our shame when, one afternoon, having bunked off early, my mates and I were discussing the new season's collection - "is that her fanny?" - "no, that's just a shadow" - "fanny?" - "nah, heavy gusset" - "fanny?" - "nope, shadow" only to turn the page and exhale in unison "now THAT's no shadow!!!" to the sound of his mother piping up from behind us "what's that then lads?", the sneaky cow had snuck in, and witnessed the whole sorry spectacle. We were 15.
READERS! Did YOU ever resort to unusual wank-fodder in your teen years?
Did you try and get off on a dirty limerick in a Nigel Rees graffiti compendium, or find yourself with nothing but a photo of a blood relative to "relieve" yourself to? Then we'd like to hear from you. Now.
READERS! Did YOU ever resort to unusual wank-fodder in your teen years?
Did you try and get off on a dirty limerick in a Nigel Rees graffiti compendium, or find yourself with nothing but a photo of a blood relative to "relieve" yourself to? Then we'd like to hear from you. Now.
written by Di*ing *asta*d, approved by Susan
The Brand New Monty Python Bok came with a slip off dust jacket that covered what was really printed on the book beneath - the cover for a spoof magazine called "Tits 'n Bums: A Weekly Look at Church Architecture". Not only was this a great gag but it did indeed feature a picture of thrillingly blobby 70's breasts (and bums). I would have wanked myself raw to it, if only I'd known how to.
Sadly I soon lost the slip on "safety" dust cover and had to cover the tits and bums with stickers from Smash Hits, lest my mum discovered my filthy shame.
Sadly I soon lost the slip on "safety" dust cover and had to cover the tits and bums with stickers from Smash Hits, lest my mum discovered my filthy shame.
written by Su*an To*acco, approved by Log
Regarding the Monty Python Bok - I also remember the 70's-style tits and bums on the hardback cover. However, I also seem to remember that the central part of the photo was the spottiest arse in world, which reduced the wanking potential of the photo considerably.
written by Ma*t Fas*am, approved by Log
For YOU maybe, Matt. *Winks*
written by Su*an*Toba*co, approved by Susan
Speaking of formative wanks, I once had a wank to the 'Pump up the Jam' video. It remains one of the best wanks I've ever had, although I honestly can't remember why. I want to see the video again, now.
written by To*y *cTon*, approved by Log