Chemical symbols
I defy anyone to find a better use for a periodic table. Simply make rude words up from the available elements.
For example...BiTcH (bismuth, technetium and hydrogen), GaY, FUCK, PoO and especially SnOTi.
written by excluded pupil, approved by Log

Zoe was nicknamed 'Casio'. She believed it was because she had a brilliant mathematical mind - like a pocket calculator. In fact, as you may remember from lessons about iron smelting, CaSiO3 is the chemical formula for slag.
written by Ja*min* Str*ng, approved by Phil

Ahem...

Argon Selenium = ArSe
Barium Rutherfordium = BaRf
Bismuth Scandium Uranium Iodine Terbium Arsenic Hydrogen Erbium = BiScUITbAsHEr
Boron Oxygen Nitrogen Erbium = BONEr
Boron Oxygen Oxygen Boron Sulphur = BOOBS
Boron Uranium Mercury Germanium Radium = BUHgGeRa
Calcium Nitrogen Sodium bismuth Sulphur = CaNNaBiS
Cobalt Carbon Potassium = CoCK
Cobalt Carbon Potassium Lutetium Vanadium Erbium = CoCKLuVEr
Cobalt Carbon Potassium Sulphur Uranium Carbon Potassium Erbium = CoCKSUCKEr
Copper Nitrogen Titanium = CuNTi
Fluorine Argon Titanium = FArTi
Fluorine Oxygen Radon Iodine Calcium Tellurium = FORnICaTe
Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium Erbium = FUCKEr
Gallium Sulphur Hydrogen = GaSH
Gallium Sulphur sulphur Yttrium = GaSSY
Holmium Molybdenum = HoMo
Holmium Thulium Oxygen Thorium Erbium = HoTmOThEr
Lanthanium Bismuth Arsenic = LaBiAs
Molybdenum Uranium Selenium Cobalt Carbon Potassium = MoUSeCoCK
Molybdenum Thorium Erbium Fluorine Uranium Carbon Potassium Erbium = MoThErFUCKEr
Oxygen Ruthenium Fluorine Iodine Cerium = ORuFICe
Oxygen Vanadium Argon Iodine Einsteinium = OVArIEs
Phosphorus Iodine Nitrogen Potassium Sulphur Gold Sulphur Silver Einsteinium = PINK SAuSAgEs
Phosphorus Iodine Sulphur Sulphur = PISS
Plutonium Beryllium Tellurium Arsenic Erbium = PuBeTeAsEr
Polonium Oxygen Fluorine = PoOF
Polonium Radon Oxygen = PoRnO
Praseodymium Iodine Carbon Potassium = PrICK
Plutonium Sodium Nickel = PuNaNi
Plutonium Sodium Nickel Lithium Carbon Potassium Erbium = PuNaNiLiCKEr
Scandium Tungsten Iodine Nitrogen Germanium = ScWINGe
Sulphur Hydrogen Iodine Tellurium = SHITe
Sulphur Hydrogen Iodine Tellurium Yttrium Cobalt Carbon Potassium = SHITeY CoCK
Sulphur Iodine Carbon Potassium = SICK
Sulphur Phosphorus Uranium Nitrogen Potassium = SPUNK
Titanium Titanium Einsteinium = TiTiEs
Vanadium Silver Iodine Sodium = VAgINa
Tungsten Sodium Potassium Erbium = WNaKEr
Yttrium Oxygen Uranium Rhenium Gallium Yttrium = YOURe GaY
Useful prefixes:
Carbon Helium Einsteinium Yttrium = CHeEsY
Sulphur Titanium Nitrogen Potassium Yttrium = STiNKY

(Editor's Note : Anna Williams either suffers from autism and Tourettes, or has looked this up on the "internet". In any event, thank you Anna.)

(Anna replies : Sadly, neither is true, Editor. I spent far too much time finding out which rude words are possible with the periodic table and which aren't. I'm still rather disgruntled that one cannot fashion 'your dad blows goats' with the abbreviations.)
written by excluded pupil, approved by Phil