Garet Teske
Plagued by rumours of an illicit affair with the rowing coach, this fat sod extraordinaire had in fact taken offence at being called "soft" (which he was, in great quantities) and successfully petitioned to get his rowing coach fired.

This resulted in the increase of the frequency and vehemence with which "SOFT COCK!" was screamed in his flabby face.

"Hard" for your rowing coach or a big soft poof to your peers? What a fantastic Catch-22.
written by Ma*thew *anna*, approved by Susan