To the tune of Daisy Daisy:

"Daisy, Daisy,
Give me your tits to chew.
I'm so crazy,
My balls are turning blue.

I cant afford a jonny,
A plastic bag will do,
So lie on you back
And open your crack
And I'll stick it right into you."

This spellbinding ditty of young love, replete with its mammary chewing, testicular fluctuation spurred by demensia, and ingenious, self-sufficient use of nearby items for contraception, is good enough.

When a fifty-strong chorus of year sixes sing it loud during a full dress rehearsal for a Victorian music hall show, it's quite, quite beautiful.

NB, "lie on your tummy and open your punny" is an unpoetic yet acceptable ethnic variation on lines 7 and 8.