Even if you are wearing trousers and underwear, if you press your fingers hard enough up your buttock cleft and worm them around, a small amount of anus smell will be transferred to your fingers. The process by which this happens is entirely magical. On a really warm day, I managed to get the smell through underpants, trousers, and jumper.

A couple of people have written to me concerning stinkpalm, but I haven't seen Mallrats yet, so I haven't the foggiest what you're talking about.

For the education of those who do not know what stink palming is--
Brodie: You stink-palm him.
TS:Stink-palm?
Brodie: You take your hand and you stick it in your ass. You been walking' all day and you're nervous, so you'll be sweaty as hell... You shake hands with the guy. 'Hey, Mr.. Svening. How've you been ?'
TS:What's the point?
Brodie:You know how long it takes for that smell to come off? Scrub all you like, it'll stick around for two days. How does he explain it to his colleagues and family? They'll think he doesn't know how to wipe his ass.
TS:Meanwhile, you are left with A hand that smells like shit.
Brodie:Small price to pay... For the smiting of one's enemies.
(I've begrudgingly put this up, but I'm still not going to acknowledge that dad up a chimney is a scene out of Gremlins, so STOP TELLING ME, I KNOW)