I nearly thought this was good enough to approve, but it's so made up, it stinks. I'm giving it to Cockfingers because I think "classic shit mayhem" is funny.

A friend of mine we shall Neil, for that was his name, had a penchant for shitting in strange places. A favourite of mine was when he shat in a KP skips packet and floated down our local brook. A bit like 'pooh sticks'. I never mentioned pooh sticks because that would mean I was a masive hom.

He also, whilst fishing, shit in a bread bag and emptied it right in front of me to spoil my afternoon completely. I mean, who wants to fish in your mates shit. thats just wrong.

Best of all was when he went for a shit in the public toilets in town. we all waited for him and he emerged oblivious to the fact that a 6 foot trail of bog roll with a lovely dollop of shit on the end was hanging out of the back of his shell suit bottoms. Classic shit mayhem.