vague instructions
After being told by a prefect to produce an essay for walking up the 'down' stairs, I spent an entire day and night carefully writing two pages of A4 in mirror writing. I believe there is a copy pinned to the staffroom noticeboard to this day.
written by hu*o z*ffr*n, approved by Rosy

This is because you are a fucking wanker

Ladies and gentlemen... Oscar Wilde has left the building. - Ponky
written by an*nym*us *ser, approved by Ponky