Headmaster on the radio
The headmaster of my school, for reasons known only to himself, agreed to appear on a local radio phone-in one Sunday evening. Word had got around, so much so that almost the entire program was taken up of items like this:

Host: Our next caller is a Mr. Madeupname, of Kenilworth. Mr Madeupname do you have a question for Mr. Strover?
Caller: Fu... *cut off*
Host: Oh, that's just silly. Our next caller is a Mr. Obvious Pseudonym from Warwick. Mr Pseudonym?
Caller: Bas.. *cut off*

And repeat.

The only pupil who managed to get through was some utter keeno who had a real, and indescribably dull, question to do with school funding.
written by De*co* G*sset, approved by Rosy