Resusci-Annie was an unpleasant tasting plastic torso. When it rained during PE, we were made to practice resuscitation techniques upon her. Eventually, the congealed spittle of a thousand children made her go mouldy and she was deposited in a skip. And there it should have ended. We staged a rescue mission. Dressed in cast-off uniform from Lost Property, Annie looked uncommonly like a first former, and we took full advantage of this by placing her in bins with one corpse-like arm poking out of the top, hiding her in lockers and so forth. Her final appearance came when she was hanged by her little plastic neck from a tree by the First XII hockey pitch. A nervous Biology teacher fainted and Annie was subsequently incinerated. It was only by the narrowest of margins that we escaped the same fate.

I once used a Resusci-Annie to fail a four fucking day first aid course I had to do. Apparently I had "broken all her ribs and probably used one to puncture her lung". I followed this up by "willfully allowing a casualty to drown in his own blood". My appeal, based on the grounds that anyone could easily hold their breath for a fucking minute or so, was cruelly denied.

A hilarious moment from my schooling was when Resusci-Annie was being "put away", and the PE teacher bent her in half. Seeing our amused looks, she said, "She's a contortionist."

We had this doll at our school. In year seven (1st year of secondary school) we dared a kid , Martin Corry to get off with it for an apple. Dirty cunt did as well.

We also recieved some (pretty pathetic) first-aid lessons, in which the boys and girls were seperated. I think the girls played netball or put tampons on each other, whatever it is they do.

We were put in the mobile classrooms right outside the head's office and given about 5 resusci-annie's between the class and told different resuscitation methods and were supposed to act them out (yeah, saying "wake up Kev!" really gets your mate out of a coma).

They soon dropped that idea when we spent all of the first lesson "pretending" to shag the resusci-annies in various positions around the classroom. In full view of the head mistress.

It transpired that one such resuscitation dummy was modelled directly from the death mask of an anonymous fourteen year old girl who drowned in the Seine. One hundred years ago. This story straight from the mouth of none other than our long-trusted P.E. teacher. Cheers, you wanker.