satanism, junior
The form of Satanism which consists of nothing more than memorizing the Lord's Prayer backwards and drawing pentagrams on our New English Bibles.
written by Ma*t B*ig*t, approved by Log
Also, using a Ouija Board in an attic (spirits being fond of attics), which would always spell out three quarters of a swear word before someone asked who was pushing it.
written by Jo* Blyt*, approved by Log
The real way to raise Lucifer from the pit is to have a load of kids all link pinkies in a big circle, close our eyes and chant "Satan come and scratch us". He actually managed to scratch a few people's faces.
Why he didn't just kill us is beyond me. Maybe he's shy.
Why he didn't just kill us is beyond me. Maybe he's shy.
written by An*rew T*er*, approved by Log
It was a well known fact that the devil could be summoned by placing a 10p on a grave at midnight and dancing round it ten times. We were too scared to do this, however, and instead tried using a green fruit pastille and dancing round it five times at midday. Nothing happened.
written by Al*xand*r P*, approved by Susan
Andrew Hubble informed us that he planned to stay awake until midnight and recite the Lord's Prayer backwards in the hopes of conjuring up Beelzebub himself. When he didn't turn up at school the next day we were naturally concerned that Lucifer had stolen poor Andy away, but he'd just overslept, because he'd stayed up past his bedtime on a school night.
written by Ph*l *la*svile, approved by Log
Crazed PE teacher Mr Dolby insisted that the simple act of playing Dungeons and Dragons is the first step on the slippery slope to Satanism.
And, Jim, he was right. As this cartoon shows. Thanks - Log.
And, Jim, he was right. As this cartoon shows. Thanks - Log.
written by Ji* T*ylor, approved by Log
My friend's dad - a vicar - had to pray to see if she was allowed to go to a Hallowe'en party.
He also prayed to see if she could have a hamster.
He also prayed to see if she could have a hamster.
written by excluded pupil, approved by Log
We'd heard from some older kids (who had been taught these things in the fourth year) that if you waited until midnight, went outside and squeezed an orange over a mirror, you would summon the Devil.
It worked too, if you think that a successful Devil-summoning constists of a pleasant smelling mirror and sticky fingers.
It worked too, if you think that a successful Devil-summoning constists of a pleasant smelling mirror and sticky fingers.
written by St*ve *, approved by Log