Birthday Punishment
'Isn't it your birthday today Nobby?' I enquired of my classmate during an unusually quiet registration. 'No' he replied. So naturally, we all sang happy birthday to him regardless and wished him many happy returns. This continued in every class until lunchtime. We would tell each teacher about the birthday and they were all more than happy to let us sing our congratulations.
On coming back to school after lunch, it turned out an older kid had heard Nobby's happy news and poured a can of coke over his head.

written by excluded pupil, approved by Conor