Sung to the tune of the 'Country Life Butter' advert, it went something like this:
Oh, we are the lads from the durex club,
and you'll never get a better bit of rubber on your knob,
it sticks to your dick like evo-stick,
and you can't get it off in the morning...
Imagine my horror when I learned that leaving condom removal to the next day was generally considered to be socially unacceptable. Also,
I'm Popeye the sailor man,
I live in a caravan,
I go to my granny,
And tickle her fanny,
I'm Popeye the sailor man.
Being from Burnley, I can believe it of many of the people who sang it.

Patting a friend (or victim who desperately wants you to like him/her) on the back with a concealed board rubber. The resulting chalk stripe is nigh on irremovable. The dust cloud evokes memories of Saving Private Ryan.

The development of coloured chalks and all-over dusting never really caught on, for two reasons; coloured chalks were considered unnecessarily fancy, and it is much more difficult to incorporate the firm and friendly patting of a mate's arse into a nonchalant gesture. Advanced dusters were generally derided and beaten as hopeless queermos by their traditionalist brothers.

Stack the entire classes chairs around the captain of the dying spaceship, then kick them over so that the captain is lost in a tangle of awkward metal and plastic. Just like in a real dying spaceship scenario, the captain can be hurt very badly.