Bug, 'cause it was his actual nickname.
Jug-Lug, 'cause his ears stuck out like jug handles.
Tug-A-Lug, 'cause after sneaking off from registration into the toilets after lunch, a swift guerilla raid caught him mid-wank.
All combined into the ultimate all-purpose nickname - Tug-A-Lug-Jug-Lug-Bug. A masterpiece of insult engineering that resonates to this day.
We let him finish his wank though. We weren't THAT cruel.

Exclamation used immediatly after a teacher has said "shhh!" to form an approximation of a rude word. On consulting with colleagues I am reliably informed this practice goes back to at least the 1940s.

That chip which appears on every tenth plate, with an end both greeny-blackened and foul-tasting. The discovery of the turd chip leads to this conversation.
A : Want a chip?
B : How unexpectedly kind. Thanks.
A : Here you go.
B : Er, not that one. It's the turd chip.
A : Go on, eat it. Nature made it. It's normal.
B : Well you eat it then.
A : No way, it's got AIDS.
It would then be thrown at a poor boy, and if it hit him, he would be deemed to have eaten it.

An all-purpose and general insult derived from a Japanese kid who naturally spoke in broken swear words. Still, parents were rich, so no-one cared. The phrase took a sinister turn, when he masturbated over another kids pillow while he slept.

A friend of mine convinced me that this (utterly fantastic, i now realise) song by The Vapors was in fact called 'done a japanese', and that it was a song about having done a particularly noxious fart, known (for reasons not recorded by history) as "a japanese".
We were too young to realise it was about wanking, which would have been funnier.

A supply science teacher told us about the 'TV Hitler' game. It was apparently invented by him and his flatmate.

What you do is, turn the tv off and with a black felt tip draw a small black rectangle somewhere on the screen. Then turn the tv back on again, and if someone on the tv stands behind the black mark, making it look like they have a Hitler 'tache within fifteen seconds, you get a point. Bonus points are awarded if it is a toddler or an old woman.

Try it at home now. You KNOW you want to. - Matt

For a long time, a young and good looking Christian female teacher at our boy's Grammar school was under the unfortunate but rather amusing misapprehension that the definition of the word "twat" was "a female goldfish", and would regularly call people "you little twat" when they'd messed something up. When some enterprising fifth year brought in an "adult" dictionary and pointed out the real definition her face stayed red for about a month.

Don't know about this one. Chances are it was probably just a random swear word.

A boy who was big, mono-syllabic, and, more importantly, easy to run away from. We would gather as many people as we could (preferably really small kids who are themselves the victims of incessant abuse - this made more of an impact) and approach the said person. There would follow a rousing chorus of "Oy! Tweedle-Dum! Chase me, chase me..." After a while of this sort of thing, a rumbling would begin, deep in the ground, as this fat, fat monster would rise from his seat. In epic, slow-motion movements, that would often be accompanied by a rousing chorus of "Also Sprach Zarathustra" he would give terrifying chase, causing everyone to scatter easily out of his path.

All you have to do is make someone say the same thing twice. After they say the same phrase for the second time, you shout TWICE! in their face, and run away laughing to tell your friends how you just twiced someone, and it was amazing.

Stakes could be raised by twicing teachers, or twicing someone twice.

Changing room game. When a small child (victim) bends down to put his socks on, a boy tall, hard, and shameless enough pins the victim's face to the wall by reversing his arse onto it at fearsome speed. The victim's natural reaction will be to either avoid cracking his head on the wall (a softer but more disgusting fate) or to avoid the approaching arsehole (possibly resulting in concussion). For best results, the victim's nose may actually enter the anus.

Twinkle twinkle little star what you say is what you are If you say it back to me You're a hairy chimpanzee Immunity from everything follows.

In Bio, we were all encouraged to think up cute names for the formaldehyde-smelling, frozen creatures we were dissecting. Hence, the Twitchy song.
Twitchy, slimy and dead,
Twitchy, we cut off your head,
Twitchy, how we love to cut you up.
*shake fist and make maraca sound*
Kidney, round and brown,
Kidney, we found you on the ground,
Kidney, you look like a bean I ate.
*maraca sound*
Liver, big and brown,
Liver, you are schloratic,
Liver, you take up too much of the rat.
*maracas sound*
Small intestine, long and pink
Small intestine, you really stink,
Small intestine...*long pause* ...there ought to be more to this verse.
*fin*
This became something of a school anthem for a while, and perhaps even lives on to this day.

We discovered the name of our wierdo gay physics teacher one day when his teacher friend came into our class to speak to our form teacher. The only words we heard were:
"Two things, Barry Berndes..."
Which quickly became the most said thing ever. To this day, I try to get myself into situations where I have two points to make to someone, so I can say "Two things.......
....
.................
Barry Berndes".
Often, I miss out crucial third things just so that I can say it. Shame I don't work with anyone else who was in my class really. If I did, meetings would be ace.

Method of twisting the balls of other male children in order to speed their submission. Agreed best practice was to shout "two-ball-screwball" during the twist.

(A note from the editors. We're not perfect here - we occasionally approve urban legends, or simply rubbish entries. But we feel that you shouldn't be deprived of some of the richer entries that we have to plough through. To this end, we give you 'tying terry up and pissing on him'. Make your own mind up.)

It would be nice to claim some structured or artistic reason for it but there wasn't one. The pastime simply entailed tying Terry up and then pissing on him. Oh, and we shoved straw up his arse sometimes, as well
Bizarrely, whenever we called for him to come out to play with us he always did.