Emmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaa
The cry i was greeted with every morning on entering the common room. By everyone. Eventually I learned to accept it. They even sang 'Happy Birthday' to me once. It wasn't my birthday.
written by Em*a C*ai*e, approved by Log

A very similar tradition was upheld with John Sweet. Upon entry to the common room he was welcomed with a cry of 'John Sweet, everybody' and a hearty round of applause.
He also had Happy Birthday sung to him on 364 days of every year.
written by Wi*l Hay*ar*, approved by Log

We used to wind up a small but violent first year called James Lloyd Wooller using a similar method. We would start in the morning by groaning "Woooooooooooller" when he entered the common room for morning assembly. Even the prefects and some of the younger housemasters would join in. If, or rather when, he responded in anger, he would be met with mock-stern shouts of "James!" or "Lloyd!", which would set him off even more.

This ritual humiliation probably made more of an impression on us than it did on him - Wooller only lasted a year before being expelled, but me and many of my old schoolfriends (now well into our mid-20s) continue to respond to any expression of anger or irritation with "OK, don't go James" or "That's fucking Lloyd". Even my mum still says it.
written by Ol*ve* H, approved by Matt