Logic employed by people who compenstate for their lack of intelligence with a need to be obeyed.
Librarian: You've all got to move, you're blocking the fire door.
Me: But we're the only ones here.
Librarian: But it's dangerous, you're causing an obstruction.
Me: The door is locked anyway!
(I demonstrate by trying the handle)
Librarian : But I have the key in my drawer.
Me: You're only here two days a week! And what if you die in the fire?
Librarian: Just get on with your work and try not to block the door.
Us: Okay...

In a similar piece of logic, we were denied a coke machine.

Us: Why?
Them: It's a fire hazard?

Us: How?
Them: In the event of a fire it could block an exit.
Us: Well then put it somewhere where it isn't blocking an exit.
Them: In the event of a fire, someone could move it and use it to block an exit.
Us: If we wanted to burn someone to death we wouldn't be stopped by not having a coke machine to block a door with.
Them: Shut up.

Ah yes, Mrs Arul-Vetha. One of the few times I actually HAD 'just forgotten to bring in' my homework, having had the mother of all bronchitis infections.

"That's fine, but you should have bought a note from your mother explaining that you'd forgotten it"

"But if I'd have thought of that, wouldn't I have just bought in the homework"

I had to draw a diagram for her - on the board - of the thought process that would have led to this eventuality.

Christ.

Jesus suffering fuck. Check out the last line of this big heap of wank. Cockfingers beckons.

It is the arcane twisting of a human's reasoning synapses, by the bitterness arising out of a slow realisation that their own failure at having any kind of skill or talent has doomed them to a job where they sit around doing stuff-all for the entire day, whilst around them tens of much younger and much brighter people slog away at tasks the librarian has no hope of comprehending. Thus the only thing that brings pleasure is being a complete arse, obstructing the easy completion of such slog and ruining other people's days... and finding complex reasons to justify it that -feel- wrong, but are incredibly difficult to mount effective arguments against. Especially as their word is effectively law.

In all my time I have known precisely two nice or even vaguely human librarians in amongst very many. One was a temp in the school library (usually doing a much different and skilled admin job), the other, student support staff in the uni library, and quite fit to boot.

Case in point, having being sent back to college for work training, I am immediately relegated to being no better than the teenage layabout chav scum attending for mechanics and food tech courses, despite being in my mid 20s and studying back-breakingly hard hospital stuff. Leading to them pulling such tricks as interrupting my work to remind me what time it is and to hurry up (despite me having removed my watch and laid it out on the desk so I can easily see what time it is), then turning the printer off without warning anyone, whilst simultaneously forcing us to pointlessly "print" our work and shut the computer down. The excuse for this mindbombing? Keeping the library open past time will make them miss their bus. Despite their closing the place 10 minutes early and it being in a city centre location near a busy bus station. Never mind that in my own job I'd be dismissed for trying such an act.

All arguments against this BS of course rendered null and void by librarian logic and their absurd arguments, particularly if I want to continue "enjoying" the hell-hole's meagre library facilities.

See also: not being allowed to "eat or drink" (taking small sips of plain water when under the thumb of a massive cold) whilst working in there for fear of spilling something (I'm not a toddler) on the "computer" (just a keyboard, linked to some godforsaken netPC terminal), and a hundred other acts of miniature, pathetic fascism, always with some kind of holier-than-thou, robotic justification. Either they do not realise that, even if their job consists of sitting on their arse playing Breakout on the internet, other people have to work, and damn hard, to meet assignment deadlines.. or more likely they do not care, or harbour the aforementioned resentment to such a point it drives them round the bend.

Feel free to edit this as I know I get a bit verbose and repetitive sometimes.

You don't fucking say, you pointless twat.