nuclear hand grenades
#3 in the lies of Troy Hawkins series.
Troy once also pulled aside a friend of mine, and told him he could get "Nuclear Hand Grenades" for a very reasonable price. Troy, we feel, had not put his usual amount of effort into making this lie believable.
Troy once also pulled aside a friend of mine, and told him he could get "Nuclear Hand Grenades" for a very reasonable price. Troy, we feel, had not put his usual amount of effort into making this lie believable.
written by Jo*nzini*, approved by Log
Tim's father worked for Crawley's largest nuclear power plant. He was also left a kilo of cocaine in his grandmother's will. Yet he was modest enough, despite his highly paid father and immense narcotic nest egg, to only wear Le Coq Sportif trainers and NHS glasses.
written by ro*ert d*e, approved by Log
Cigarette companies have been stopped from issuing Gratis Points and the like, because it's allofasudden bad to make people smoke as much as possible to earn a free umbrella.
However, when these little cards were commonplace, really hard kids could claim that they'd smoked so many fags that they'd claimed a F-16 Fighter Plane. When pressed to arrive in school in it the next day, they would say "couldn't park it, sold it to the army for a million pounds". When pressed to produce this million pounds, or any evidence of it, they would say "can't, spent it all on fags and smoked 'em".
However, when these little cards were commonplace, really hard kids could claim that they'd smoked so many fags that they'd claimed a F-16 Fighter Plane. When pressed to arrive in school in it the next day, they would say "couldn't park it, sold it to the army for a million pounds". When pressed to produce this million pounds, or any evidence of it, they would say "can't, spent it all on fags and smoked 'em".
written by Ri*hard*Swan, approved by Log
Beany said he owned a snake. He also told us that he had a swimming pool.
You can imagine how disappointed we were when we went to his house, only to find that the snake had fallen into the swimming pool and died - And as a mark of respect, and to prevent any further and unnecessary snake accidents, his dad was forced to fill the swimming pool in with concrete.
You can imagine how disappointed we were when we went to his house, only to find that the snake had fallen into the swimming pool and died - And as a mark of respect, and to prevent any further and unnecessary snake accidents, his dad was forced to fill the swimming pool in with concrete.
written by ja*es s*uire*, approved by Ponky
Another classic from the mouth of David Watson - apparently his grandfather had created a new serum which, when injected into the neck, allowed you to turn your head more than 180 degrees. Unfortunately, a teacher came into the classroom as we were testing if there was any serum in David's neck, thus forcing us to put up with this kind of shit for another 7 years.
written by Po*glesn*tch , approved by Rosy
Daniel Sodaburgh's dad was the Ultimate Warrior, and his uncle was Hulk Hogan. They both had the Knight Rider car. Normal enough, I suppose, plenty of kids lie about what their parents do.
However, his mum was Batman. That's Bat MAN.
He was 12 when he told us this and no amount of backpedalling on his part made us forget it. Ever.
However, his mum was Batman. That's Bat MAN.
He was 12 when he told us this and no amount of backpedalling on his part made us forget it. Ever.
written by excluded pupil, approved by Matt