If you hear strange banging noises emanating from a cupboard, and you've recently heard someone talking about a pirate copy of The Exorcist, then you are likely to believe that the cupboard is possessed by the Devil, who for some reason is interested in occupying a space holding hamster feed, balls of wool and eight-year old boxes of tampons for the more 'advanced' girls.
That the noises might be caused by kids in the classroom on the other side of the wall playing Granny's Garden on a computer and kicking the wall out of sheer boredom, would not occur to you. At least, not if you are David Malone.
This led to David asking Reverend Quine (in one of his weekly religious education visits) if he could exorcise the cupboard. Assemblies about offending visiting guests followed, and David wasn't asked to go in the cupboard for wool again.
That the noises might be caused by kids in the classroom on the other side of the wall playing Granny's Garden on a computer and kicking the wall out of sheer boredom, would not occur to you. At least, not if you are David Malone.
This led to David asking Reverend Quine (in one of his weekly religious education visits) if he could exorcise the cupboard. Assemblies about offending visiting guests followed, and David wasn't asked to go in the cupboard for wool again.
A fellow pupil became rather green about the gills during a lesson and showed signs of imminent hurling. As there clearly wouldn't be time to get the pupil to the toilets, the teacher had to take emergency action. However, instead of doing something sensible, like grabbing a wastebin and thrusting it towards the pupil, the teacher cupped his hands and allowed the pupil to vomit into them. To this day I'm utterly mystified by sir's motivation for protecting the sanctity of a scuffed classroom floor.
Part of the same family of words as Scunthorpe, crumpet and KT Tunstall, as words you can easily amend to cunt (or kunt).
The best possible scenario is getting a teacher to read out this Dungeon Masteresque riddle - "once you have connected the wire, the cunt should be significantly higher".
The best possible scenario is getting a teacher to read out this Dungeon Masteresque riddle - "once you have connected the wire, the cunt should be significantly higher".
John Hunter (known as 'Curtains' for his sad fanny-parting haircut) was the only person in the school who was bullied by everyone. A favourite memory of this criminally annoying nonentity is seeing him, in fifth form aged 16, being chased around by a gang of rogueish first years who are baying for his blood. This is one of those lads who never learns that if you take the piss out of a large group of kids, no matter how old you are, if you're a complete pussy, they're going to beat the living shit out of you. And beat him up they did.