A deeply regrettable insult on the part of the inventor. Referring to the eczema of his opponent, and the emery board like complexion of his epidermis, the insult just sort of hung there for a few seconds before the cries of "emery what?" and "say that again, you fucking ponce" let him know that he had lost the argument.
In an attempt to make the Encore Tricolore text book more appealing to students, a photo-biography of "Mission:Impossible" star Emmanuelle Béard was included. Despite the misleading name, Emmanuelle Béard had no beard. This matter was swiftly rectified.
The cry i was greeted with every morning on entering the common room. By everyone. Eventually I learned to accept it. They even sang 'Happy Birthday' to me once. It wasn't my birthday.
Let's have the 'Special Studies' class - who don't do much in the way of work anyway - spend a day experiencing what it would be like to be disabled.
An admirable idea irrevocably marred when Tim Ives dropped several valiums and some acid. If you can imagine Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas with the whole cast in wheelchairs, wearing Dreamscape bomber jackets, you're starting to get the picture.
Leathering of the anus, due to excess buggery.
The rudest thing you can say in french without using your imagination. Translated, it means "go fuck yourself", and is the closest that French has to offer to the great British "fuck".
Simply by learning a few more basic words - including dog, mother, suck, tetraplegic, vodka and full anal - you can do much better.
Having watched Clive James eyelessly present clips from the crazed Japanese game show "Endurance", we attempted to create our own test of strength, bravery and stamina... by seeing who could sit for the longest on a hot radiator.

In reality this bore less of a resemblance to a madcap slapstick TV show and more a bizarre ritual by an oriental death cult as wave after wave of young boys chose to voluntarily sterilize themselves.
Epididydoo was a cartoon friendly dinosaurus. The most notable thing about Epididydoo the Friendly Dinosaurus was the fact that his name was plainly based on the epididymis. Epididydoo's adventures were entirely unrelated to the spermatic duct system, however. They were shit.
One of a set of winged male reproductive organs, including the amazing flying testicle, the amazing flying prostate gland and the amazing flying vas deferens, all drawn by me during an engineering drawing lesson. I got an 'A' for biology, and a detention for engineering drawing.
Sufferers of epileprosy are struck by violent fits, which cause various body parts to fly off into people's soup.
Reported cases are limited, but it's still funny more than 5 years on.
Abbreviation of epilectic fit. Usage; "Jesus, don't have an eppie - it's just a bit of blood and some visible bone". A common variation is the school bag swinging eppie fit, where no-one gets near and the eppie fitter is probably crying snot.
The process of having to say "gee burt" or "neeyow, ernie" to work out which Sesame Street character was which. Thought process; "I’m saying Gee Burt, so I must be Ernie… it’s the cuter orange one who says Gee Burt, so Ernie’s the banana one. No – hang on – Burt’s the banana."
Settled once and for all with the memory jogging alliteration of Bert the Banana, Ernie the Orange.
Another noise you can make when somebody does something exceptionally stupid. For instance, after you fox a victim with the classic trick multiplication "What is one times one?", and they answer "two".
The response of the BBC Model B to any statement that didn't follow its unjustifiably strict rules of BASIC. Made for limited fun, so.
> chris is great and everyone likes him
The cry from Gavin Byrne's younger brother after 'special needs' Emma dropped her knickers.
The Ethiopian famine of the mid 80's gave rise to some particularly horrible jokes. I can't remember them all but a couple stick in my mind: "Did you hear about the nuclear explosion in Ethiopia? - Two million people died trying to eat the mushroom" was one. Another involved pointing at a barcode and asking "what's that?" Most people guessed incorrectly at a barcode, the answer was of course "An Ethiopian family portrait". People even put an Ethiopian slant on mum cussing, ie: "Your mum's fanny is drier than Ethiopia" or just "Your mum's an Ethiopian".
Mnemonic that would help you remember the notes of the treble clef. You could also go with Every Girls Breasts Deserve Fucking, if you were a proper lad who didn't want to think about gays and fudge.

The gaps between the lines of the stave, going upwards, spelled out face. Fuck A Chinaman's Ear never really took off, because the word FACE doesn't really need a mnemonic.

If you ever needed to learn the notes of the Alto Clef, you were probably a bit too into music to be childish about clefs. Which is a shame, because it looks like a big arse.
There was a series of Wally games on the Commodore 64. On the back of one of the games, they actually had the gall to record a novelty song called "Everyone's a Wally". Anyone remember the words?
"Bang, bang. You're dead"
"No, I've got a bulletproof shield"
"But I shot you with nukerler missiles"
"It's a nuclear-proof shield too"
"Ok, Zap, zap. You're dead"
"It's got laser-proof too. It's an everything-proof shield."
"Ok. I get my everything-proof-shield-piercing-bullets and shoot you"

(See also Infinity Plus One)
In Florida, there were always Turkey Vultures that flew, high in the sky. For our neighborhood gang of 5 year olds, there was only one solution to this menace - we formed the Evil Eagle Patrol.
We were armed with plastic bats (which were very real, but not very impressive) and ray guns (vice versa).
And you know Short Circuit, when the authorities are searching the desert for Johnny Five? Well, we'd box the chords from that, too. 'Cos we were ace.
Rupert Baynham spent an entire month when he should have been studying for A-Levels making an Evil Edna costume for the school Halloween party. The costume was not for himself however, but for the mildly retarded girl Helena who he tortured at any given opportunity. The genius of the design (and hence the man hours required) lay in the "hidden compartments" later to be filled with Camembert cheese (only the finest would suffice). The cheese was left to "mature" on school radiators and the costume was gratefully received by the girl thinking it a peace offering from Rupert. One extra feature were ropes inside, ostensibly to "help keep the costume on" but in reality to bind Helena fast inside the costume, preventing escape and causing hideous rope burn. Time well spent.
What you must shout immediatly after you have been tagged in a game of "it", to indicate that your being tagged was invalid, as you had CLEARLY crossed your fingers, thus exempting yourself from being caught because you were tying your shoelace.
In reality, a tactic to ensure that Anne-Marie remains "it" for the duration of playtime, despite the number of people she tags. Poor Anne-Marie.
If a member of your group has been excluded, perhaps for not laughing at the leader's jokes, a lackey may be deployed to further your exclusion This lackey will approach, pretending to comfort for just a few moments, until a reluctant smile plays hopefully onto your lips. Then they will say 'He was right, you ARE a pussy' (or something to that effect), then run back to the group laughing. IMPORTANT NOTE : On no account should you use your time in the wilderness to gain an empathy with the people you would normarily bully.
On the windows of the buses of Isle of Man Transport there used to be clear stickers with red letters warning "THE EXECUTIVE WILL PRESS FOR HIGHEST PENALTIES AGAINST OFFENDERS". With the aid of a 10p piece, it was easy to amend this to "THE EXECUTIVE WILL PRESS HIS PENIS AGAINST OFFENDERS". Quite often, it was noted that the executive (whoever he was) had something of a penchant for pressing his penis against fenders, too. Practically every bus on the island carried these modified warnings at some point during the 80s. They don't any more. Pity.
The cry of exmoor was used to infuriate a fat bloke called McRedie. It referred to an incident at primary school where he was violated using a lubricant solution of deodorant and shaving foam by 5 people. People from Gloucestershire do weird things on holiday.